Courage

"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

From now on, you'll be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. They key is to allow yourself to make the journey."

-Princess Diaries

God can speak through Disney movies too.

UPDATE on post below:

Twas not a matter of quality, but a matter of skill.

I bought Nestle and had a go at melting it, and failed because I tried winging it.

Must follow directions and not memory.

Turns out I was overheating both chocolates.

So, lesson: QUANTITY STILL RULES. HAHAH

Quality vs. Quantity

I've always grown up being a quantity girl, constantly falling for clearance prices and deals, clipping coupons and reveling in Costco wholesale items. But as I get older, I definitely see how wasteful it can be. And in some cases, I truly learn the lesson that quality really can be more important than quantity.

I don't think I'll ever fully leave my quantity-loving ways, but today I was sorely disappointed with my decision to buy cheap.

As you probably know, I love to bake and honestly, I often buy cheap ingredients and it tastes perfectly fine. But the other day, I bought cheap Kroger brand chocolate chips for baking (Nestle choc chips were double the price) and I wanted to make my own choc-covered honey-twist pretzels. (Doesn't that sound delicious?? I thought so too. But Kroger failed me.)

I proceeded to melt the chocolate chips in the same way I always do, but it was NOT becoming a silky smoooth delicious brown as it normally should. Instead it was a grainy, undippable glob.

Cheap chocolate = crap. (It literally looked like poop on a stick.)

Next time, I gotta stick with the good stuff. Nes-lay To-louse. ;) Definitely worth the extra money.

In the case of the melting of chocolate chips, may the ruling show that quality truly trumps quantity.

THREE at 3:33

3 more chapters of OChem to cover

3 more weeks til my DATs

3 more days until toy story threeee

Alice in Wonderland - Jabberwocky

I just recently saw Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, and I really, really liked it. A lot. So it inspired me to rewatch the old movie, which I now love even more. There is so much clever wordplay I never could have understood as a child.

So one of the reasons I enjoyed the new movie more than I think others would is because of Glendale High School A Capella Choir.

Two of the years I was in A Capella, we sang "Jabberwocky," which if you don't know, is the poem/song in Lewis Carroll's books.

It has a bunch of made-up words and the song, really, is very strange.

(here's a video link)

But as odd as the song was, I'm very glad we sang it because Alice in Wonderland (the new movie) is all about the poem.

• Johnny Depp recites it while Alice rides on her hat, as does the Cheshire cat in the old movie.
• The old movie has mome raths, Tulgey wood.
• The new movie features the frumious bandersnatch, jubjub bird, frabjous day, "calloo-callay," the vorpal blade, and of course, the Jabberwocky.

So having sang the song (thus having memorized the poem), I understand the nonsensical words of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland.

Us A Capella alumni have an upperhand in that sense. Whereas the average viewer must have been confused by the strange language, for me, watching the movie was like finally being able to put pictures to words I've known for the past 8 years.

All in all, Tim Burton has brought my A Capella song to life. And I loved it.

Dear Bangs

Please stop torturing me with your intermediate, unattractive length.

GROWWWWWW.

Sincerely,
Joan.

The Story Behind "Joan" Lee

As most of you all know, I pretty much hated my name growing up:

1. It's a boring, old-fashioned Caucasian grandmother's name.
2. Korean immigrant adults can't pronounce it (so I let them call me whatever they want.)
   
3. Lots of people for some reason cannot spell it.
   
4. I've been called Joe/Jo, John, Jones, Joann, Jane, and of course, Joan of Arc (real original), all of which I hate being called.
   
5. It rhymes with nearly every letter in the alphabet, creating lots of ..lovely.. nicknames.

In the past when I would ask my mom how she came up with Joan, her explanation was that she thought it was a pretty name and that if I were to be a boy, I would have been named John. So I thought, all right, that makes sense. Good enough, I'll take it.

But as a child, my cousin Grace used to tell me that my name was supposed to be Joanne, but I contested. "Joan" is not meant to be pronounced with 2 syllables. It would be like pronouncing Grace "Grah-say," plus my mom never told me that before. So I never believed her.

However, I was talking to my mom yesterday and I decided to clarify that detail of my life. At first, she told me the same story, Joan = female version of John. But when I asked her about Grace claiming I was supposed to be Joanne, a new side of the story came out.

Turns out, she DID want my name to be Joanne -because it was pretty, but apparently, she was misinformed when she was taught to spell it. So after I was born and the documents signed and made, she originally called me Joanne. Then when writing my name for her friends, they told her, "No, that's pronounced Joan. Joanne is spelled with an extra N or N-E."

So after the initial shock, she thought "Hm.. Joan.. Lee. Okay, that sounds good. We'll keep it. Plus it would have been a hassle to change all the documents anyway."

So.... Grace was right all along.

But imagine if I were Joanne Lee. Such a girlier name. What ramifications would that have caused in my life? All those years of strife over my name could have turned out differently. Would I be a different person? Honestly, I think so, at least slightly.

What I find most ironic in this whole situation: I hate it when people call me Joanne. (I'd even prefer Korean adults to call me John than Joanne.)

It bugs me when things are mispronounced or when people ignorantly employ improper grammar - because things should be done a certain way. Joan should be pronounced and spelled Joan. And I would be bothered if people couldn't get that.

But if I didn't have to deal with the frustrations of people constantly getting my name wrong my whole life, maybe I wouldn't care about mispronunciation/grammar as much. Maybe people wouldn't have come up with ugly nicknames. (I definitely wouldn't have the same screenname. haha.)

I've definitely let go of some of the frustrations about my name, mostly because it's a regular part of my life and I've gotten so used to "Joan" causing problems.

But to think, my identity was founded on mispronunciation - what I hated most is what I was supposed to be.

Oh, what a difference 1-2 letters can make.