I love Luke.

Reading through the gospels together, I kept getting drawn to Luke -particularly the language and the nuances that could easily go unnoticed. Luke incorporated intricacies of Jesus' life and stories that brings new meaning and understanding to the stories I've read over and over. Even though the difference may literally be the addition or adjustment of a single word, it makes a huge difference to me.

So last night, I read the introductions to M/M/L/J in my Life Application Study Bible, and reading the description of Luke made my appreciation even deeper and more personal - he wrote the way I think and emphasized what I value most in Jesus.
Here are some highlights:

• Luke affirms Jesus' divinity, but the real emphasis of the book is to show Jesus' humanity --Jesus, the Son of God, is also the Son of Man. As a doctor, Luke was a man of science, and as a Greek, he was a man of detail. It is not surprising, then, that he begins by outlining his extensive research and explaining that he is reporting the facts.

• Luke was also a close friend and traveling companion of Paul, so he could interview the other disciples, had access to other historical accounts, and was an eyewitness to the birth and growth of the early church. His Gospel and book the Acts are reliable, historical documents.
  

• This is the most comprehensive gospel. The general vocabulary and diction show that the author was educated. He makes frequent references to illnesses and diagnoses. Luke stresses Jesus' relationships with people; emphasizes prayer, miracles, and angels; records inspired hymns of praise; and gives a prominent place to women

• He is the only known Gentile author in the New Testament. [Luke was written to] Theophilus ("one who loves God"), Gentiles, and people everywhere

I love it. -A Gentile, studied/lived science, educated, detail-oriented, valued relationships, gives props to women. (sound like me? hahaa) What more could I ask for? Hehe. Luke is wonderful.

I've Come Full Circle

ESFJ/INFP/ENTP/ISTP/ISFJ/ASLDKJ/ABCD/ATGC/QWERTY/ETC. blah blah blah.
We've all taken the infamous Myers-Brigg Test time and time again, and as much as I like taking personality assessment tests, I didn't really buy into this one in particular because for a long time, my results were inconsistent.

However, after having to take it again for small group HW last night, as I was reading my results (ISFJ), I realized that it perfectly described what type of person I used to be growing up, rather than who I believe myself to be, now. I'd like to believe that I have grown out of certain qualities/characteristics, but it makes me wonder... how bound am I to my old-self? Or should I call it my true self?

I thought I had "conquered" a lot of my former insecurities, but have I really grown past them, or is my personality more set in stone than I realized? --Which reminds me of the premise behind FlashForward (and Lost too, I guess I could say) and their question of changing "destiny," and of course, the age-old nature vs. nurture argument. (Meaning, no matter how much I may ponder/write/bore you, there will never be an answer.)

As I continued to read up on ISFJ's ("Protector Guardians" / "Nurturers"), I was genuinely shocked at how well they had me pegged. I kept digging around for more ISFJ information, and the more I read, the more I felt exposed. How could a simple 4-letter combination describe me so well? (Could I be that predictable?)

I know that I have changed a lot since I was younger, but I guess the childhood, painfully shy-Joan will always be there, enough so to keep me an ISFJ after 2 decades. (and possibly forever?) High school and college were definitely times when I worked to become more open-minded, expressive, opinionated, and decisive. And in some areas, I've passed the point of no return. But despite reconciling and adjusting my identity, it appears that I've circled back to my former self.

So what does this mean for me now..? I really don't know.

The Screwtape Letters

I said long ago that I would post excerpts/thoughts about Screwtape Letters, but I never got to because there are just TOO many mind-blowing passages to choose from. But the time has come and here is the first entry: (Letter/Chapter #2, pg 7-8)

"Work hard, then, on the disappointment or anticlimax which is certainly coming to the patient during his first weeks as a churchman. The enemy allows this disappointment to occur on the threshold of every human endeavour.

It occurs when the boy who has been enchanted in the nursery stories by 'Stories from the Odyssey' buckles down to really learning Greek. It occurs when lovers have got married and begin the real task of learning to live together. In every department of life it marks the transition from dreaming aspiration to laborious doing.

The enemy takes this risk because He has a curious fantasy of making all these disgusting little human vermin into what He calls His 'free' lovers and servants --'sons' is the word He uses, with His inveterate love of degrading the whole spiritual world by unnatural liaisons with the two-legged animals.

Desiring their freedom, He therefore refuses to carry them, by their mere affections and habits, to any of the goals which He sets before them: He leaves them to 'do it on their own.' And there lies our opportunity. But also, remember, there lies our danger. If once they get through this initial dryness successfully, they become much less dependent on emotion and therefore much harder to tempt."

sometimes i just want to dissolve

i really can't commit myself to a blog.
i may go through certain times when i write somewhat consistently, but... meh. as much as i like the idea of journaling, it's not really in my nature to do so.
so random, sporadic blogging i will continue to do. (as i always have)

goodbye 2009. you kind of sucked.
filled with lots of highs, but more lows.

King vs. Pauper

Eat breakfast like a King (or Queen in my case), and dinner like a pauper.
My inner-pauper will have to battle hard to conquer the queen in her regal behavior.
But we shall see who shall prevail this weekend.

EDITED: upon further analysis and research,

forget that last post. i think i got it now.

EDIT: haha so I know I was extremely vague, but I didn't think anyone would be interested in my rambling. So here is my thought process/my plan:

I REALLLY only neeeeed a 0.01Science-GPA boost (at the bare minimum). So pulling out a $6000+ private loan for a 0.04 GPA boost (at USC) is just NOT worth it.
Also, as advised by Erica, community college, no matter how cheap, is out of the question.
So, I am banking on CSULA, but I will try to get UCLA and CSULA at the same time (Jan 4). I got advice that I should just stick with it, and keep going to class because people will continue to drop (hopefully).

But in the meantime, CSUN starts 2 weeks later, so if my chances at CSULA or UCLA aren't looking too good, then I'll try CSUN as well (same procedure/risk).

So there it is.
No real backup plan, but God, I hope it works out =(