The Story Behind "Joan" Lee

As most of you all know, I pretty much hated my name growing up:

1. It's a boring, old-fashioned Caucasian grandmother's name.
2. Korean immigrant adults can't pronounce it (so I let them call me whatever they want.)
   
3. Lots of people for some reason cannot spell it.
   
4. I've been called Joe/Jo, John, Jones, Joann, Jane, and of course, Joan of Arc (real original), all of which I hate being called.
   
5. It rhymes with nearly every letter in the alphabet, creating lots of ..lovely.. nicknames.

In the past when I would ask my mom how she came up with Joan, her explanation was that she thought it was a pretty name and that if I were to be a boy, I would have been named John. So I thought, all right, that makes sense. Good enough, I'll take it.

But as a child, my cousin Grace used to tell me that my name was supposed to be Joanne, but I contested. "Joan" is not meant to be pronounced with 2 syllables. It would be like pronouncing Grace "Grah-say," plus my mom never told me that before. So I never believed her.

However, I was talking to my mom yesterday and I decided to clarify that detail of my life. At first, she told me the same story, Joan = female version of John. But when I asked her about Grace claiming I was supposed to be Joanne, a new side of the story came out.

Turns out, she DID want my name to be Joanne -because it was pretty, but apparently, she was misinformed when she was taught to spell it. So after I was born and the documents signed and made, she originally called me Joanne. Then when writing my name for her friends, they told her, "No, that's pronounced Joan. Joanne is spelled with an extra N or N-E."

So after the initial shock, she thought "Hm.. Joan.. Lee. Okay, that sounds good. We'll keep it. Plus it would have been a hassle to change all the documents anyway."

So.... Grace was right all along.

But imagine if I were Joanne Lee. Such a girlier name. What ramifications would that have caused in my life? All those years of strife over my name could have turned out differently. Would I be a different person? Honestly, I think so, at least slightly.

What I find most ironic in this whole situation: I hate it when people call me Joanne. (I'd even prefer Korean adults to call me John than Joanne.)

It bugs me when things are mispronounced or when people ignorantly employ improper grammar - because things should be done a certain way. Joan should be pronounced and spelled Joan. And I would be bothered if people couldn't get that.

But if I didn't have to deal with the frustrations of people constantly getting my name wrong my whole life, maybe I wouldn't care about mispronunciation/grammar as much. Maybe people wouldn't have come up with ugly nicknames. (I definitely wouldn't have the same screenname. haha.)

I've definitely let go of some of the frustrations about my name, mostly because it's a regular part of my life and I've gotten so used to "Joan" causing problems.

But to think, my identity was founded on mispronunciation - what I hated most is what I was supposed to be.

Oh, what a difference 1-2 letters can make.